Most of the time I feel like I am just sitting on the outside of something (very specific… just don’t want to put it in words) I could have been a part of, if things (again, very specific…) had been slightly different. Or if they had been as I expected them to be.
Part of me wishes that things had been different. I am, in some ways, in their group, but in other more meaningful ways, I am and always will be an outsider.
Maybe that’s not such a bad thing? Am I wanting something not good for me?